Thursday night smackdown

We don't have cable in our household, which means I miss out on the happenings of 24 hour news on the teevee. That doesn't bother me much. On top of that, I've long felt that Chris Matthews was particularly unwatchable. But I gotta say, watching him take down this pompous ass was good. Really good.

Blinded me with science

Well, that does it. With "scientific" proof like this, how can we deny it? I'll be seeing you in the pews, motherfuckers!

At this point, I believe the kids say, "Boom!"

Now this is the kind of Hollywood cattiness I go for

While I'm resolutely Not Oscar blogging, I will indulge in a little meta-Oscar blogging. For example, did you know that Oscar's conservative... ahem competition has a trash-talking live blog of the show? The Liberty Film Festival blog is offering constantly updated witticisms like this:

7:24 — Renee Zellwegger. A sandwich, stat. She makes me want to be gay. I can think of three, no four guys, I’d.. You know… Look at her. That pinched face. A body like a twelve-year-old boy. I’d feel like a child molester.

For the record, Renee Zellwegger will not turn a man teh gay. Daniel Day Lewis, on the other hand... do the fellas know what I'm talking about here?

And honestly, given the last couple of years, don't you figure right-wingers would be just a little more careful about copping to feeling like a child molester? Just sayin'.

I believe the term you're looking for is 'blowback'

Pity poor David Horowitz as he attempts to stuff the escaped "Soros ♥ McCain" genies back into his Pandora's Box:

The Internet and cable TV have been rife with allegations that George Soros funds John McCain. One of the sources for this claim is a book I co-authored last year called The Shadow Party: How George Soros, Hillary Clinton and Sixties Radicals Seized Control of the Democratic Party. What we reported was that Soros made a contribution to McCain's political organization when McCain was devising the McCain-Feingold bill. If you oppose that bill as I did and do, that's the end of the story.

Ah yes, the end of a story that started in 2004 like this:

By pushing McCain-Feingold through Congress, Soros cut off the Democrats’ soft-money supply. By forming the Shadow Party, Soros offered the Democrats an alternate money spigot – one which he personally controlled. As a result the Democrats are heavily – perhaps even irretrievably – dependent on Soros. It seems reasonable to consider the possibility that McCain-Feingold, from its very inception, was a Soros power play to gain control of the Democratic Party.

People who take Soros money are co-opted liberal drones. Got it. In 2005, David Horowitz's Shadow Party co-author chimed in with some alarming news:

Founded on June 26, 2001, McCain's Reform Institute for Campaign and Election Issues has long served as a nerve center for the so-called "campaign finance reform" movement – a movement which has done nothing to clean up campaign finance, but has done a great deal to empower federal judges and government bureaucrats to regulate political speech, in defiance of the Bill of Rights.

Now here's the kicker. The list of donors published on the Reform Institute's Web site reads like a veritable Who's Who of radical, leftwing foundations, including the Tides Foundation, the Carnegie Corporation of New York, the Proteus Fund and George Soros' Open Society Institute (hat tip, Winfield Myers).

Not surprisingly, in view of the above associations, Arianna Huffington serves on the Reform Institute's Advisory Board. Huffington has long acted as a front for George Soros' "campaign finance reform" efforts. In 2000, she organized the so-called Shadow Conventions which provided John McCain with a bully pulpit to stump for his now-infamous McCain-Feingold Act. George Soros shouldered about one third of the cost of the Shadow Conventions.

What's this? Some liberal people with some communist puppet-master's money are somehow in cahoots with John McCain? You don't think John McCain could... nah!

As Sen. John McCain assumes the GOP front-runner mantle, his long-standing, but little-noticed association with donors such as George Soros and Teresa Heinz Kerry is receiving new attention among his Republican critics.

In 2001, McCain founded the Alexandria, Va.-based Reform Institute as a vehicle to receive funding from George Soros' Open Society Institute and Teresa Heinz Kerry's Tides Foundation and several other prominent non-profit organizations.

McCain used the institute to promote his political agenda and provide compensation to key campaign operatives between elections.

OMFG! McCain is totally pwned by Soros! Yikes, DHo! All that shit-stirring about Soros came to bite McCain in the ass when it came to convincing some of your nuttier comrades (OMFG, there's people nuttier than Horowitz!). How are you going to walk that one back into the barn?

Soros is an anti-American radical, who thinks George Bush is responsible for the war on terror and that Israel is the aggressor and genocidal armies like Hamas the victims.

In case that wasn't clear enough, Horowitz is saying that Soros is a Nazi.

On these critical issues of our time, John McCain has absolutely nothing in common with George Soros

John McCain is decidedly not a Nazi.

For Soros "American supremacy" is the greatest threat for world peace. For McCain, American military supremacy is the greatest guarantor of world peace. That's quite a difference.

McCain is, in fact, the anti-Nazi who will smite all the brown-skinned Nazis in the Middle East - or wherever they might reside. And McCain is such a savvy anti-Nazi, he's actually taking Soros' Nazi money and then using it to kick his ass. And that's pretty sweet.

I dunno. Given DHos red-diaper background, we have every reason to suspect his endorsement of McCain:

Presently, I am engaged in a nationwide campaign to get the Republican Party to champion the cause of poor people and minorities.

That spells RINO to me.

The many moods of Pam

Pamela Geller manages to range the entire "rage spectrum," from being charmingly delusional:

Dr. Nancy (my sister) suggests we do a Humphrey:

LET'S PULL A HUMPHREY

In 1968 President Johnson had eventually decided not to run because of the Vietnam quagmire and the prominent figures in the primary were Eugene McCarthy who won some states and amassed delegates and the dynamic senator from New York Robert F. Kennedy who it was said had a good chance of winning the nomination if he could add California to his wins and have that momentum at his back. This he did, but moments later was shot to death. Vice President Humphrey wound up entering and winning the nomination despite not having participated in the primaries or amassing delegates because he had the support of the incumbent president Johnson and party insiders. Let's do it too. Tell Cheney to jump in, W should support him and we just need party insiders I guess. Or can we never pull what the Dems do a la Lautenberg?

to out-and-out genocidal:

Islamic practices must be utterly shunned, denounced and eradicated from our societies. No taquiya, no sharia, no Islam in the houses of government[.]

And she can hit all the points in between.

The five stages of half-hearted, hackneyed political prose

So, you're an operative looking for a chit to gain access to the next imperial court, but you're tepid, at best, on your prospective choice. Why not pen a half-hearted plea to "unite the base" in the WaPo? Here, in a nutshell, are the five stages of coming to grips with having to endorse John McCain in an editorial:

Denial: "Endorse John McCain in the WaPo? Sure, that shouldn't be a problem."
Anger: "How many words do they want? I can't get past fucking 'He's not Hillary!'"
Bargaining: "Can't I just get my Aunt Helen and Uncle Leonard in Evansville on board and ditch the whole writing thing?"
Despair: "One hour until deadline?!? My consulting firm is fucked!"
Acceptance: "Here's what I got - a shitty adaptation of five stages of how to deal with shit that really sucks. God I fucking hate John McCain!"

But will they listen? Oh noes!:

On the Republican side, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee delivered a humiliating defeat to Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) in the Kansas Republican presidential caucuses, and this evening he was leading McCain in the Louisiana contest and running neck and neck with him in Washington state.

Not only did she miss the party, I have reason to believe she was never invited

K-Lo begins to understand that while she was locked safely away in her hermetically sealed chastity bubble, the rest of us were enjoying the sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, and (unfortunately for her) all the partying might actually have implications for her politics.

Come January 20, 2009, I, for one, will be welcoming our free-basing overlords.

Where is Hunter S. Thompson when we need him?

Because I'm dying to know what he'd think about this World Net Daily tidbit from his old stomping grounds:

God will get a home in the ritzy and elite Roaring Fork Valley which includes the resort locale of Aspen after a board of local officials decided that federal law did not allow them to simply ban a church construction project on land the congregation owns.

Given the whole omnipotent thing, I wasn't really aware God needed zoning board approval to build a home. Of course, given the whole omnipresent thing, I wasn't really aware that God needed "a home."

So, given that this is Aspen, will this be a vacation home?

Singled out again

Amidst the morning rush to work, I was again singled out of the crowd by the LaRouche Youth Brigade to receive their latest informative publication. I'm too polite to say, "No, I don't want your stupid fucking magazine."

One quick observation - as I implied before, LaRouche thinks that the Devil is in my laptop in the forms of the blogosphere, Facebook, and the Wikipedia. Yet the man has a website. I imagine this is something akin to 16th Century pamphleteers passing out tracts on the evils of the Gutenburg printing press.

Huckabee's heroes

The more strongly Mike Huckabee comes on in the polls, the more the disturbing trends behind his rise come to light. For example, his low-budget surge in Iowa is being fueled by his popularity amongst the right-wing home-schooling set:

While early attention focused on Romney and other better-known and better-funded opponents, home-schoolers rallied to Huckabee's cause, attracted by his faith, his politics and his decision to appoint a home-school proponent to the Arkansas board of education.

If people want to home school their kids, that's fine by me. But home schoolers have absolutely no place in setting policies for public education. With more and more focus on setting educational standards, putting hard-core Christianists on the policy boards of schools that they won't let their kids go to because they teach evolution seems to me like a trojan horse destined to introduce all sorts of backwards ideas into public education. Don't believe me?

"Even though the media makes it seem that we are a homogenous group of Bible-thumpers and flat-Earthers, there is a variety of opinion," Roe said.

Sure, some of them thump, others bang, a few lightly tap, and a small handful are content to merely wave it around. More disturbing, though, is that flat-Earthers are included in the "variety of opinion" that characterizes home schoolers, along with those who believe that everything revolves around the Earth and some who think that the Earth is really just the shell of a giant turtle swimming in a vast ocean.

These are the people helping to propel Huckabee towards center-stage. And unlike Bush, whose Rovian tactics cynically manipulated these people into voting for the dolt before dropping them like a hot potato to pursue more plutocratic policies, Huckabee seems to be one of them. I take some solace in knowing that the flat-Earth crowd and their fellow travelers make up a minority of the electorate - albeit a well-organized minority, but I'm a little bit fearful about those who would fall for Huckabee's version of economic populism and his "nice guy" persona.

You stay crazy, you LaRouchian lugnuts, you

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Lyndon LaRouche Youth Brigade ever since some young woman stared out at me with vacant eyes and deigned to lecture me about how, as a trade unionist and socialist, I was working to help make global capitalism, uh, capitalize... or globalize... or something like that. Once I found out she was running with LaRouche, all I could think about was how odd it is that the young cultists he spawns could be so enamored with some old crank who tried to ban rock 'n roll. Come to think of it, LaRouche pretty much hates everything associated with youth except the youths themselves, who seem to make perfect foot soldiers for his special brand of wingnuttery until they realize, hey, there's something to be said for this sex, drugs and rock 'n roll thing! But I digress.

The LaRouchians seem to love me as well, if the young pamphleteer who cut through the morning rush crowd at Union Station - like a moth to a flame - in order to bestow upon me the latest LaRouchian ranting is any indication. And what a ranting it was! Do you know what group poses the greatest existential threat to these here United States? If you answered the British Empire, still smarting from 1776 and hellbent on imposing global fascism, you'd be spot on! And did you know that Facebook is an insidious plot to brainwash young collegians rather than to, say, waste colossal amounts of time taking music quizzes and getting into zombie fights? It's true!

Oh you wacky LaRouchians! What hijinks will you cook up for your next pamphlet?

Stupid is as stupid does

Queen of academic wingnuttia Candace de Russy approvingly cites the following statistic at (ahem) Phi Beta Cons:

Even though almost 100% of the violence in the world today is perpetuated by followers of the Islamic faith, and roughly 0% is initiated by followers of any other, the media continuously chooses to lead us to believe that it is almost normal for "youths" of "undefined affiliation" to spontaneously react to an accident with violence and mayhem.

So remember kiddies: wifebeaters, drug cartels, street gangs, and Columbian death squads - Muslims, the whole lot.

wobblie in the belly of the beast

Lucky me, I got to spend the day attending a conference at the American Enterprise Institute, a building which is in the running for the title of "real estate with the most bad ideas generated per square foot." You'll be pleased/horrified to know that the AEI crowd is every bit a nutty as they seem to be on the editorial pages. I'm not going to go into the details of the conference here (check out the work blog tomorrow - sufficed to say, the snark will be back), but here's a few fun non-substantive details of my day to tide you over:

• There is a delightful framed photograph of Charles Krauthammer on the way to the loo.
• I had the pleasure of watching MoDo's research assistant fight off sleep for a good chunk of the morning.
• There was apparently a cocktail reception at the home of one of the wingnuttier participants where, based on their presentations, I imagine some of the panelists will be smoking some good, good hash

Admittedly, I was worried that entering the hallowed home of neoconservatism my thinking might have been subtly altered, But Overall My Brain Is Running All Normal.

Lies, damn lies, and statistics

Hey, did you know that being poor in the United States is totally awesome? It's true, according to economist Walter F. Williams, who somehow garnered a job at George Mason University spouting gibberish like this:

Poverty is not static for people willing to work. A University of Michigan study shows only 5 percent of those in the bottom fifth of the income distribution in 1975 remained there in 1991. What happened to them? They moved up to the top three-fifths of the income distribution — middle class or higher. Moreover, 3 in 10 of the lowest income earners in 1975 moved all the way into the top fifth of income earners by 1991. Those who were poor in 1975 had an inflation-adjusted average income gain of $27,745 by 1991. Those workers who were in the top fifth of income earners in 1975 were better off in 1991 by an average of only $4,354. The bottom line is: The richer are getting richer and the poor are getting richer.

To summarize:

• 95% of the bottom fifth of income earners in 1975 made into the top 60% of the income distribution by 1991.
• 30% of the "lowest income earners" (which he never defines, but I'll assume he means those in the bottom quintile) in 1975 made it into the top 20% of the income distribution by 1991
• The average income of the bottom quintile grew seven times as much as the top quintile from 1975 to 1991

Cute. Williams is actually right, as far as income goes, but relying on that measure omits aggregate measures of wealth. Income only measures what people bring home in a paycheck (does it also include income from rents?), but measures of wealth factor in the value of property, stock holdings, and - most importantly - debt, as well as income. Using those measures, the growth in wealth of the top quintile has far outpaced everyone else (and we won't even talk about the top 5 or 10%). In 2000 (see p. 8), the net worth of the top quintile of households increased by some $24,000 since 1998, while the net worth of the bottom quintile increased by $1300 (to $7300). The middle three quintiles showed much more modest gains as well. The median net worth of the top quintile is nearly 27 times that of the bottom quintile. I don't have comparable income measures from the 1998-2000 period, but the 1991 figures that Williams refers to (tables 5, 6, & 7 - good lord, how many people are spouting this shit?) show the median income of the top quintile to be less than twice that of the bottom quintile.

Where I'm from, having a net household worth of $7300 is not good. Sure, it's more assets than a huge chunk of the developing world has, but it's hardly the good times that Williams makes it out to be. Williams is an asshat (as I would expect a GMU economist to be) and is trading in on the statistical and economic ignorance of Americans in order to push the line that any sort of income redistribution program is completely unnecessary because, hey, the poor are getting richer faster than the rich! Which is bullshit. But what do I know - 97% of poor people have a color TV. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Did you feel the rumble?

That's because last week America's colleges were rocked, rocked! by the biggest conservative protests ever! David Horowitz unleashed Islamo-Rastafarianism Awareness Week upon unsuspecting coeds, revealing the insidious plot hatched by dreadlocked jihadis hellbent on destroying America by subjecting us to endless playbacks of Exodus and enveloping us in a haze of sweet, sweet ganja smoke.

What's that? Islamo-fascism you say? Whatever. My point remains. Rocked.

While campuses dig out from the ivy-covered rubble, here's a few highlights you may have missed:

• Did you know that IFAW was actually just another lame attempt by Horowitz to gain some media exposure? It's true!

  "I'm a prominent conservative but no one is inviting me to speak at their campuses," Horowitz said in an interview with The Hatchet. "I had to create an event."

  The real reason Horowitz isn't invited to speak on campus is because freakshows play better at the circus midway - or on the quad, for that matter - than in the lecture hall.
• One group wasn't content to just listen to the battle cry of "Fascist!" being lobbed by partisans on both sides of the ideological spectrum. No, the Young America's Foundation at Michigan State University did them one better and invited a real live, honest-to-god fascist, British National Party chief Nick Griffin, to address the campus about Islam! When one of America's premier Islamophobic websites mentioned that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't the best choice of speakers, the head of YAF-MSU had this to say:

  In case you do not read Little Green Footballs, the blog is pro-Muslim, left-wing, politically correct, and basically a front for neoconservative foreign policy (instead of defending their culture, they want to build schools in the Anbar province). They are basically a puppet of the multiculturalists and believe that Islam is not the enemy of Western civilization and Christendom. Only Bush-bots read the Little Green Footballs blog.
  
  [...]
  
  Many of the comments on the LGF blog are critical of Pat Buchanan, Ron Paul, and paleoconservatism. If you are not a big government, globalist, middle-class-hating, promoter of economic treason, then LGF doesn’t like you.
  
  LGF and Al Qaeda both have something in common: they hate Western civilization and those who stand up for it.

  Burn! I think...
• The real tragedy of IFAW is that no one, not one single campus, booked Pamela Oshry Geller for a speaking engagement, thus depriving countless students of the benefits of her trenchant social analysis:
  Hellooooooooo therapy!

So there you have it - consider yourself informed of the imminent threat and grateful that you weren't drowned in a tidal wave of hilarious propaganda! As for me, I'll be welcoming our Islamo-Rastafari overlords with open arms. Jah rule!

Step away from The Fountainhead

Sure, when all of us were narcissistic seventeen-year olds, the novels of Ayn Rand held a certain thrill for us. But most of us moved on to other things, like making out with members of our preferred sex and bonghits. Lots and lots of bonghits. But what happens if this Randian obsession continues? Let's look to the fine thinkers of the Ayn Rand Institute for answers!

Exhibit A: Sure, Christopher Columbus was a con-man and a third-rate sea captain responsible for the mass enslavement and extermination of the indigenous populations in the Caribbean. But on Columbus Day, we're not celebrating the man, we're celebrating the entire project of Western Civilization, from Aristotle to Einstein and beyond! Which, to me, begs the question, if we're going to have a day to celebrate the glory that is the West, why not an Aristotle Day or an Einstein Day, rather than a day that celebrates a really, really bad individual? Oh, because the former probably diddled little boys and the latter was a socialist peacenik? Right, Columbus it is, then.

Exhibit B: Did you know that every time you drive your Prius or buy organic vegetables, you're actually supporting nihilistic eco-anarchists hell-bent on wiping off the planet any trace of human existence rather than, say, a multinational corporation or a farmer looking to support his weed habit? It's true!

Both are reason enough to re-think any plans you had of giving Atlas Shrugged a second read. But if you need more proof, there's always Exhibit C.

Facts, schmacts

As we continue our investigation into the use of powerful, hallucinatory horse tranquilizers by prominent... uh, well-known... ok, dime-a-dozen right-wing hacks, we stumble across the sad case of Dennis Prager who, when not drooling on himself as he lolls around in a stupor, is engaged in a nonsensical diatribe against the truthlessness of "the Left":

In the hierarchy of leftist (as opposed to traditional liberal) values, truth is below other values, such as equality, opposition to war, the promotion of secularism and a number of other highly regarded values on the Left.

Wait a minute... you mean to tell me he's sober and he actually believes this shit? Well, he's got to have something to back it up, right?

The first example is what is known as political correctness. Leftist denial of what is true is so widespread that we have a term for it, political correctness. There is no comparable right-wing political correctness, i.e., denying truths so as not to offend right-wing values or certain groups.

He's right, there's no such thing as political correctness on the Right. Why, they would never spew hypocritical outrage over an ad criticizing war leaders (while they themselves slimed military veterans of the opposition party). Nor would the Right seek to intervene in the highly personal individual decisions around end-of-life issues in order to appease their base. They would under no circumstances try to file a harassing lawsuit that would cost the job of a professor who believed that teaching the Old Testament story of creationism as literal truth was inappropriate for a course on Western Civilization. And, of course, the Right always tells the truth about Iraq. Everything's great, and getting better all the time! Nope, not one bit of political correctness at all.

Textbooks. A prime example of the Left's view of truth is its changing the goal of high school American history textbooks from telling truth to promoting self-esteem among minority and female students by depicting more women and more non-whites in American history textbooks.

Yet another valid point. Discussing the contributions of Susan B. Anthony, Sojourner Truth, and Martin Luther King Jr. aren't really "telling truth" so much as they're feel-good exercises in morale building. We all know that women and minorities have contributed absolutely nothing to this country!

"Bush is a liar." Currently, the most widely repeated lie of the Left is that President George W. Bush lied about Saddam Hussein having Weapons of Mass Destruction. It is repeated so often ("Bush lied, people died") that many Americans now believe this. But it is not true. There were valid reasons for anyone to believe that Saddam Hussein had WMD. Saddam had used them in the past; he refused to allow unfettered inspections; he was the major foreign sponsor of Palestinian terror; and most important, virtually all Western intelligence agencies believed Saddam had WMD.

Of course he didn't lie! Bush believed - and still believes - every damn word he's uttered. So saying that Bush is not a liar may be technically correct; it's much more accurate to say that Bush refused to believe reams of evidence which contradicted his myopic view. Bravo, Prager!

Callling [sic] liberals "unpatriotic." Another lie of the Left is that Republicans and conservatives regularly label opponents of the war in Iraq "unpatriotic."

Again, Dennis is dead-on. Conservatives have never called liberals unpatriotic. Treasonous, sure. Traitors, you bet. But never unpatriotic. Oh, wait...

The homeless, heterosexual AIDS, and rape. For years, mainstream leftist news media purveyed false information supplied by Mitch Snyder, the major left-wing activist on behalf of the homeless. Likewise, we were told by gay and AIDS activist groups that AIDS "doesn't discriminate," meaning that heterosexuals in America were as likely to contract the HIV virus as homosexuals. It was never true in America (Africa may be another story for other reasons). Feminist groups have offered statistics on rape and sexual violence that are patently false.

First of all, real classy pegging as a liar a man who has been dead for seventeen years. Of course, the National Coalition for the Homeless are just repeating his lies. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are well known fabricators when it comes to the rates of same-sex and opposite-sex transmission of HIV, as well as sexual assault. I'm sure Dennis is going to come back here with some solid evidence that will demonstrate to us all what a bunch of truth-challenged fibbers these leftists all are. Right Dennis?

Dennis...?

You're sure he's not 'round back snorting lines of ketamine?

The Keyes juggernaut cometh

Look out, folks, Alan Keyes (who, you'll remember, famously garnered Michael Moore's endorsement moshing to Rage Against the Machine) is looking to ride a grassroots groundswell to the GOP nomination! From an e-mail sent out by Helen Valois for Renew America, detailing their petition efforts at the Iowa Straw Poll to draft Keyes:

"But, Helen," said another friend — who was being regaled with tales of our trip and shown photos of all of us at the booth smiling for the camera and saying "Keyes!" — "tell me the truth. I believe in everything Alan stands for and all of that, but do you really think he has a chance?"

That word "chance" is becoming eerily reminiscent of another word all too unthinkingly and ubiquitously employed these days — the word "choice." Nobody seems to stop and ask, in the context of presidential or other politics, "a chance of what?"

A chance of selling out everything important, all for the sake of manipulating someone's way into office?

A chance of becoming as wise as doves and as innocent as serpents?

Do you have any idea what Helen's talking about here? "Wise as doves?" "Innocent as serpents?" I know the wingers are prone to talking in code, but this doesn't make any sense.

Oh, and I believe the correct response to the question, "Helen, do you really think Keyes has a chance?" is "Dear god no."

A chance of forfeiting the incomparable legacy of liberty bequeathed to us through bloodshed and sacrifice, all because we can't be bothered to look up from the froth of our raspberry lattes long enough to take stock of what is providentially required of this generation of Americans, right now?

Wait a minute... raspberry lattés? I thought lattés where the purview of the Volvo-driving liberal crowd. Did they somehow know of my leftist proclivities when I signed up to receive their newsletters for a larf? Weird.

Why not ask the black man who told me he is sick and tired of hearing that the country "isn't ready" for an African American president?

"When's the last time you heard any such opinion expressed about a certain Barack Obama?" I pointed out. This guy didn't start laughing, however. He spent the next ten minutes earnestly fleshing out my own thought for me, in quite a number of worthwhile ways.

I hope one of the ways he fleshed out Helen's thoughts for her was by pointing out that the last time Alan Keyes carpetbagged his way into a mano-a-mano electoral scrum with Obama, he got pasted.

They stood in line for their turn to wield the pen, with signatures totaling two hundred in one day.

There you have it. 200 sigs in one day. Keyes is gonna roll!

Aren't they precious?

Conservatives trying to mock that which they don't understand look really, really dumb.

It takes a special kind of crazy

We all know that Michael Vick is probably a pretty bad guy for running a dog-fighting ring out of his home. But did you know that he was running that ring in order to gain money to buy missiles from Iran in order to join Al Qaeda's war against Murica? It's true! Or so says the convicted felon suing him for $63 BILLION backed by gold and silver.