Sith lords gone wild!

I'm not sure which part of this simple tale of assault is the most unbearably wonderful (to borrow a phrase) [all emphases mine]:

• "A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday."
• "Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court."
• "Unfortunately for Hughes, his March attack was recorded on a video camera that the cousins had set up to film themselves in a light saber battle."
• "'Darth Vader! Jedis!' Hughes shouted as he approached."
• "Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon (10-liter) box of wine beforehand."
• "In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 — 0.7 percent of the population — listed Jedi as their religion."