You stay crazy, you LaRouchian lugnuts, you

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Lyndon LaRouche Youth Brigade ever since some young woman stared out at me with vacant eyes and deigned to lecture me about how, as a trade unionist and socialist, I was working to help make global capitalism, uh, capitalize... or globalize... or something like that. Once I found out she was running with LaRouche, all I could think about was how odd it is that the young cultists he spawns could be so enamored with some old crank who tried to ban rock 'n roll. Come to think of it, LaRouche pretty much hates everything associated with youth except the youths themselves, who seem to make perfect foot soldiers for his special brand of wingnuttery until they realize, hey, there's something to be said for this sex, drugs and rock 'n roll thing! But I digress.

The LaRouchians seem to love me as well, if the young pamphleteer who cut through the morning rush crowd at Union Station - like a moth to a flame - in order to bestow upon me the latest LaRouchian ranting is any indication. And what a ranting it was! Do you know what group poses the greatest existential threat to these here United States? If you answered the British Empire, still smarting from 1776 and hellbent on imposing global fascism, you'd be spot on! And did you know that Facebook is an insidious plot to brainwash young collegians rather than to, say, waste colossal amounts of time taking music quizzes and getting into zombie fights? It's true!

Oh you wacky LaRouchians! What hijinks will you cook up for your next pamphlet?