Strive for the master-slave dynamic

Unleashed upon the sleepy streets of England:

No one is quite sure exactly why the Koatian sect, as it calls itself, has taken root in a pebbledash street in the north east. An offshoot of the Goreans, a larger group with some 25,000 British followers, they live their life according to commandments hidden within books written by John Norman.

In Norman's fictional land of Gor, which is divided into castes, couples must ditch any pretence of equality and instead strive to achieve the master-slave dynamic in their relationships.

>snip<

Lee Thompson, 31, who lives at the address that was subject to police inquiries and describes himself as a master who trains slaves, told the Northern Echo: "It works on the system that some women have a desire to serve. Most people think it is a very sexual thing, but it is about every action that they make, they do it for their master.

"I have been called sick but I don't think what I do is bad. There's no reason for people to be afraid of me. I'd die before I see anyone get hurt. Saying that, the girls will do everything they are told when it comes to sex, but it is all voluntary and all safe."

"Lots of girls want to come and try to find out about it," he added. "They think it's exciting, but it's hard work for everyone. Girls leave when they've had enough."

Although there are said to be 350 Goreans who meet in pubs and clubs around the north-east on a regular basis, not everyone has taken to the new fad - nor, indeed, to the man apparently leading Darlington's unlikely sexual revolution. The local butcher, for one, has banned Mr Thompson from his premises for turning up with his girlfriend attached to a leash.

Now let me be clear. I'm not mocking this man for his lifestyle choice. Whatever floats your boat, sez me. But I am mocking him for basing said choice on a set of sci-fi novels. Really, couldn't you just be into the BDSM lifestyle for its own sake?