And furthermore

Not that I'm the type to toot my own horn or anything, but on top of being named an Award Winning Poet, I've also been named a Poet Fellow:


This award only costs $60 and comes with a "24K" Gold Pin. Quite the bargain. How low are you willing to go, International Society of Poets? Do I hear "New Poet of the Year," my picture in the newspaper, and a $45 membership fee? My shit's hot, y'all, and I'm being courted.

To all of you who would diminish my achievements by claiming that this is some sort of ruse to get chumps to donate their hard-earned dollar to an organization of dubious distinction, I say this:

By next week, I'll be fucking Dante, my haiku will be a Broadway musical, and my membership will be free!