Trashy confession

Okay. I'm not ashamed to admit that Liz Kelly's "Celebritology" is one of my favorite reads on the old "series of tubes". Why, you ask (knowing full well you probably don't)? Because when she gets her snark on, she's hilariously devastating to the pretentious ego:

Lohan Wants to Visit U.S. Troops in Iraq

The Associated Press
Celebritology Annotation in Italics

NEW YORK -- Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and entertain American troops there.

Lindsay Lohan has suffered some big setbacks in recent days -- she was publicly scolded by a studio exec, dumped by her label, hospitalized for "dehydration" and has been called as a witness in a suit against her mother -- and wants us to associate her name with a more positive vision of a busty, ministering angel to the troops than a hungover, forever bikini-clad party girl on the fast track to Taradise.

"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long. Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous," the 20-year-old actress says in an interview in the September issue of Elle magazine, on newsstands Wednesday.

"Hillary Clinton has no intention of taking me to Iraq and, as we speak, her people are calling my people to find out where in the hell I got the idea that Hillary would even permit me to join her on a government-funded junket to a war zone. And she asks that I please call her Sen. Clinton in the future. Oops."

Textbook case of what not to do when the advice you're given is "keep it real."

And there's your low-nutrition/high calorie treat to soothe your jangled political junkie nerves.